When does the crazy stop?

I’m always shocked when someone is mean to me. It knocks the air out of me and I take the comment to heart. I stash the incident away and I contemplate it, until I fully analyze every syllable, and even than I can never completely understand why they would want to hurt me? I just file the incident away as I suck that’s why they are being mean to me, but what I understand even less is when someone is nice to me. Their actions and/or words are perplexing to me. I sit and wonder what their inner motives are, why would they want to be nice to me? When anyone pays me a compliment I immediately start thinking of all the reasons they are wrong, and how they are just saying that because they feel obligated to do so. The compliment can range from my physical to any of my skills (I have like two, and one of them is my ability to question and answer myself.), to my work abilities; I don’t believe any of them. I always feel like either they are just trying to be nice and they don’t really mean it, or that for some reason I have forced them to see something that I am not.
For example:


The offensive compliment: You have nice eyes
My “rationalizing” said compliment: Why are you looking so closely? Are you just saying that cause you feel bad about that GIANT pimple on my forehead?
Compliment: You’re really good at this job.
ME: What you are really trying to say is your glad I haven’t fucked everything up recently!
Compliment: You have great taste. You get the best deals!
ME: You think I’m wasting my money and I am gaudy to no end.
Compliment: You have such nice hair.
ME: You think I should just shave my head a la Britney.

Soooo, yeeesss I am that psycho, so I think I will try to be more accepting of compliments without immediately trying to figure out people’s inner motives, and when someone is mean, I’ll just file the incident away as: They are just assholes who don’t appreciate me and all my wonderfulness.