When I was young....er

When I was younger I remember time dragging, summers were eternal, and the year seemed never ending. Now a days I feel rushed, time constantly tapping its impatient foot at me. This year I can't even remember happening, it all went too fast. I swear it was just summer, I just turned 24, I just started this job. But wait, I didn't just turn 24, and I have been at the same job for almost two years. I constantly feel like I am running toward some goal, or rather that some goal is being pushed upon me. Perhaps it's my biological clock ticking, but at 24 I hope not. I can't pinpoint what it is but I feel like I am waiting for something, something to come and show me the way. Now that the holidays are coming I feel that they are just a landmark to remind you where you are in life, asking you questions you tried all year to avoid: Are you financially secure? How is your love life? How is your family? Have you achieved your goals you gave yourself this year? Are you happy? All these questions race around you while you pick out that perfect cheese grater your buying your aunt sue, and you wonder why you feel like time is clawing at you.

Love

This morning I heard Evanescence My Immortal and I almost broke down. The following lyrics are so raw, and real, they are me. It scares me to think that I can identify so closely to them. You don’t realize how much pain you’re in till you sit quietly for a second.



I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave,

I wish that you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just to real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

(When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
there's just too much that time cannot erase


(Chorus)

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you’re still with me
I've been alone all along


(Chorus)

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

All of me

All of me...