Turks and Caicos

I am currently working roughly 70 hour weeks. Trying to prove myself worthy of my new promotion. I am tired and stressed. My head is in a fog, and school started again. Work is stressful, life is stressful in general. Yesterday I contemplated leaving it all behind and moving to an island. One in which I could work a mindless job, a leisure life, a life without all the stress that comes with careers and school...and yet I would miss it all. I am such a typical Gemini in that way.. I tend to be a recluse, lay around reading for hours, stopping only to eat and drink, and yet at times I must be a social butterfly, I fill my days with people and activities, and constant motion. I don't think I would be happy in said Island...I mean I moved from NYC and almost had a nervous breakdown..and I am literally 45 minutes away from it all. My resolution is vacations...relaxing vacations, with as much decadence as I can afford.

Happy Birthday to me

I have not written in a while...about a year I believe...so much has happened, that's always the case these days. One turns around and everything is different than where you had last left it. I will be 27 in two days. I have never felt so out of touch with my age as i do right now. I don't fully comprehend that I will be 27, not in a bad way, just in the 27 is adult and I am no adult way..so weird. I feel that I am probably the most comfortable with myself than I have ever been before, and in that sense I feel the happiest I have ever been before. I need to continue to know myself, and accept what I find. I am currently working on my MBA and I am taking a management course, in which one of our tasks was to write about who we want to be as leaders, but it started of by asking us to list 5 of our greatest strengths and talents. I could only list 1, and I was doubtful about it. I may know who I want to be, yet it's so hard to accept who I already am. The catch 22 is that the only way for me to become who I want is by acknowledging who I am, so that I can work from there. I think that is what 27 will be about. Learning who I am and loving it. There is something so comforting in sending these words out to the void of the internet world.

Summer time...

As I was walking to work today I saw leaves on the ground and it made me realize that summer is coming to an end sooner rather than later, and it made me reminisce about all the things I've done this summer. So here goes my list of things I loved about this summer.

1. Alive @ five!

2.Having a good birthday.

3. Getting my tattoo!

4. Good old heartbreaking salsa..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDZZq3LkeeM

5. Making new friends and getting closer to old ones.

6. Having a good summer even when I thought I wasn't going to be able to survive it.

7. Blue fish games!

8. Playing catch with my brother even though I throw like a girl! LOL

9. Skirts, dresses, and pretty summer sandals

10. My birthday.

Now I am still enjoying summer, but I am looking forward to fall too because:

1. The fragrance of autumn makes me smile

2. Football!! Specifically

3. The Giants who will kick ass this season.

4. But also Mark Sanchez the Jets new MEXICAN quarterback who also happens to be easy on the eyes.

5. Starting school again at UCONN

Quiet Saturday

Today I relaxed, I rode my bike to Old Greenwich sat and read a book by the pond. Later even though I don't like going to Westport..it's just not my kind of town. I ended up going because my friend dragged me up there so we could go eat fried pizza and walk around the Italian festival. The pizza was good, but the festival was pretty vacant because it had been threatening to pour since 8pm. We had a nice catch up chat walking through the rides and all the food stands. We plan on heading back tomorrow night in order to eat as much fried pizza as possible before the festival ends, hopefully it wont rain tomorrow. I plan on getting a hair cut tomorrow. I have been contemplating cutting my hair short for a long time now but have never actually done it. I had it cut really short about 6 years ago because I wanted a change. I think I need a change again. Once I'm sitting there with my hairdresser I'll decide.

Alive @ Five

I went to Alive at five last night and felt like such a local. I went with my friend, and sat outside the bar Twenty and people watched before we walked around. Nothing too interesting happened we just, enjoyed the band, Better Than Ezra, as back ground music to the night. I have been a couple of times this summer but have never actually gone and watched the band play. I kind of regret it considering Smash Mouth was there the first night, they played all their classic songs and they sounded really good. They always leave the biggest band for the last night of the concert series. Last year it was Boys to Men, this year Sugar Ray my favorite band when I was 14 yrs old is playing! I loved Mark McGrath, I was convinced we would meet and fall in love instantly. LOL I know it's going to be packed but I will be there..hey you never know he might just look down see me and realize that we are meant to be! LoL

Sunset bike ride by the beach

I have been living in Connecticut for almost 3 years now. And I can finally admit that I like it here. Most people are in awe that I would leave NYC for the "country". I admit it took some getting used to, but now I really like it here. Especially on days like today. I took a sunset ride to the beach. The weather was perfect, it was neither too warm or too cold. The wind was blowing through my hair the hydrangeas were in full bloom and Bob Dylan was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I spent last weekend with my family in Brooklyn and we talk a walk in Prospect Park and my mother and I reminisced the walks we took when I was a little girl. I realized than that, those walks made me appreciate nature and yearn for the peace it brought me. This is why this city girl went country.



Sunset at Greenwich Point







Sailboats and a father playing with his son.

Desiderata

I discovered this poem when I was 15 and although it touched me then. I can appreciate it and take more from it now at 26. Sporadically through out the years when I hit a rough spot in life, I would say desiderata and I would feel calmer.


Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920